I was once married to a man so duplicitous, my marriage was actually annulled and I was never divorced. It’s hard to explain this, so I claim the divorcee moniker. The marriage last ten years and it was still possible to dissolve it in a manner I had always assumed was designated for those who had not consumated.
I used to listen to the Adele song “Someone Like You” so much, had it come out in 1991, I would have worn out the tape. I blamed myself because I believed there was no one better than he and despite all I went through, I felt undeserving of such a love and deserving of the abuse.
Now, I avoid someone like him. This is not about him or a specific man, but more of a musing about what kind of man to avoid. It’s a musing about how to avoid “someone like you.”
I have learned a narcissist and many a douchelord will work overtime to win me over. The shower of compliments, the endless conversations, the praising of my intelligence and interest in my interests. I have needed a man to share all of my likes and dislikes, but we all like to find something in common with people we want to date. Beware of mirroring!
A douchelord manipulator is amazing at mirroring everything from pretending to like cultural pursuits to feelings. These people fake entire relationships. They are devoid of emotion. While this causes the average person a great deal of distress, especially during a break-up, the douchebag can’t feel. Imagine a life in grey and red.
While I feel too much, a person like that feels anger and not much else. There’s contempt, disappointment… but they love like a normal persons loves a toaster.
The conquest depends on the quest for a douchelord like this. I’m not high maintenance. I’m easy-going and I used to open myself faster than Jaws snapped his gob. I was super easy and fast.
If a man blows hot and cold, stands you up and only contacts you in the middle of the night through social media, say your peace and off you go. There’s nothing for you there. This is not serious or real.
Not Someone Like You
Good men do exist, I’m told. But they don’t want a hot mess these men prey on. I have to love myself truly. I thought I did, but it’s not true. I don’t put myself first and I wear myself out. A douchelord clocks someone like me to suck all he can while stringing along with no intention to commit. We are a supply.
I don’t want another narcissist. I don’t want a man who takes me granted and uses me for whatever may suit at any given point. I don’t want someone like the douchelord who takes someone like me and goes nuts playing his games and getting his fill. I want to never meet someone like that again. I want to move on and never look back.